Waiting, Hoping, Praying, Trusting...

After the miscarriage I had some blood work done to see if anything could be pinpointed that may have caused it. The only thing that showed up was something called MTHFR mutation. In non-doctor's terminology....a large percentage of women have MTHFR mutation and some have healthy pregnancies, but there are some that have miscarriages so doctors have determined that maybe, just maybe it can cause a miscarriage. So, the plan was for me to begin taking my prenatal vitamins along with extra folic acid and a baby aspirin. What the mutation can cause is something like a blood clot that prevents the baby from getting what it needs to grow and develop. It felt good to feel like I was on the right track to hopefully having a baby one day...

Well August came and with it a new school year began. 21 new sweet minds, hearts, and faces to help mold into bigger, stronger, smarter kiddos after 180 days together. August is always a busy month just filled with long, exhausting days getting back into the groove of a new school year and a routine again. (Summer does spoil you...just a little;-)) August came and August went...no sign of pregnancy yet...

 

Here's September...got back into school mode and into a normal routine. Nick and I were 'trying' but not really announcing it to anyone. September was filled with cool fall days and Saturdays were of course game days for us in Athens or wherever the Dawgs were playing at. :) September came and September went...no sign of pregnancy yet...

 

Happy Fall Y'all! Hello October! The most wonderful month of the year...yes my birthday month! This year was super special since it was the last time I would be celebrating in my 20's!! October was another good month filled with fall festivities. I mean seriously who does not like fall?!? This month I decided to start working out with Nick. He is a workoutaholic... so I figured what better time to jump on board than now?!? HA! Not only was I trying to keep up with him at home with P90X and Insanity (YES...INSANE..I KNOW!), but at school some of us started the "Couch to 5K" and were walking pretty consistently. It felt so good though! I don't know if it was me showing myself for the first time that I could do it or what, but I really started liking getting fit! October came and October went...no sign of pregnancy yet... (getting a little worried...impatient...anxious...)

Oh...can't forget that Nick took me to see Michael Buble in concert for my birthday! What an incredible experience!!!

 

Okay...you know what month is next...November...and the NO means that NO this month you are not pregnant. BUT...a glimmer of hope came when it was time for Aunt Flo to make her monthly appearance...she was late and not normal. Hmmm...maybe the test just wasn't right. Guess we will wait and see what happens next month. November was filled with more fun memories made. Still cheering for the Dawgs each Saturday...enjoying the cool weather and sweet, warm apple cider.
Nick and I decided to get our Christmas tree a little earlier than normal...well actually let me back up a minute. For the past 3 years we had an artificial tree. This year we decided to try something different. Since we were going to be leaving for Australia before Christmas and staying there for 2 weeks we went the day after Thanksgiving to a Christmas Tree Farm to get a tree. That way we could enjoy it for a few weeks before we undecorated and went out of town. Here's Paul Bunyan carrying our tree down the mountain! ;-) (What a fun experience that was!!!! Lessons learned is all I have to say about that!!)

Thanksgiving was a wonderful time spent with family and just enjoying being together....of course and enjoying yummy, yummy food! I love me some turkey!! Sweet potato casserole!! Mashed Potatoes!! Green beans!! Dressing!! And I love being with my family, too!! Of course since it was our baby's due date I was a little distracted on Thanksgiving...I couldn't help but think about what "could have been" and I also knew because of Aunt Flo's visit that I still wasn't (probably wasn't) pregnant. (Even though once again her arrival was late and she didn't last her normal length.) Needless to say...November came...and November went...still no sign of pregnancy yet. (Definitely getting worried at this point...is this ever going to happen for us??? Am I ever going to be able to give us a baby?)

Greetings December! One of my most favorite months of the year. However, this time it was a huge signal...the end of a year. The end of the year. The end of the year that I lost my daddy and we lost our baby. Also, meant the end of another month of trying and still not preggo. I decided to make a doctor's appointment...I had to go with my gut feeling and my gut feeling said let someone tell you either A. something is not right or B. you're fine...Aunt Flo had not been 'regular' in a few months and I just wanted to make sure I was OK. Of course Google doesn't help any when you search "irregular period"....gheez...I had myself diagnosed with all kinds of things before I even made it to the doctor's office...I had my mind made up that whatever it was meant I could not have children. My sister went with me to the doctor because Nick was out of town. I actually wanted her to go with me anyway because if I was to find out there was something wrong with me when I wanted to be the one to tell him, not a doctor. So, after consulting with me and listening to my signs, symptoms, and even my self diagnosis she very clearly told me that I needed to stop stressing out about things. I told her how I had been working out consistently for the first time ever and she said that my body was also being put through stress from that and it was not used to it. Relieved. Somewhat. Still doubt was trying its best to sneak in on me and consume me. I decided to stop working out and just focus on us 'trying'. AND remember that even as much as I would love to be...I wasn't in control. I HAD to TRUST HIM.
I asked Jonah for some reinforcement. ;-) He enjoys reading The Word every now and then!:)

December was filled with early get togethers for Christmas since we were leaving on the 18th for Australia. It meant undecorating before we left so we didn't have that to do when we got home. It was a busy month and I was definitely looking forward to a nice, relaxing vacation.:)

 

That was my bed for 21 hours to get to "the land down under". The middle picture is me stretched out watching a movie on my own personal T.V. The last picture is some random passenger asleep, but I wanted to take a picture of how the seats lay out into a bed. :) Not such a bad ride across the world. Not to mention the ice cream sundae for dessert was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!:)

We flew into this airport and had a brief layover before we got onto another smaller plane to take us to Hamilton Island. These pictures are of Santa and his elves in the airport and I couldn't resist getting a picture of Krispy Kreme in Australia! :)

 

 

This was us getting off the small plane...getting our luggage and getting a Taxi. The second picture is our Taxi ride. Look how the steering wheel is on the right side!:):)

The view from our room!

  P.S. It's December!!

 

Christmas dinner in Australia!! Their traditions were so cool!! What an incredible experience!!

 

...there was so much more from our trip, but that's all of the pictures that I have from my phone. The rest were taken on Nick's. I will post some more at another time. :) Well...you guessed right...December came...December went...still no sign of pregnancy. (Defeated...discouraged...but still being reminded that I am not in control. Who knows...maybe 2014 will be 'our year'?!? :):))

 

January 2014...a new year...new possibilities...new experiences...what does God have in store for me this year?!?:):) I tried to remain hopeful...optimistic...even the tiniest bit of hope was somewhere deep inside. We rang in the new year in Sydney, Australia. Sydney, Australia. How many people in their lives actually get to say that????(Well that live in South Carolina anyway;-)) Pretty incredible experience! (I will get some more pictures posted from our trip...it will just take me loading Nick's pictures on here...but you have to see what I experienced. So blessed. So very, very blessed to have family that are able to take us on such once in a lifetime trips!)

After Christmas break was over...it was back to school...back to the grind. Nick and I took a mini-vacay with Jonah up to Beech Mountain. He has a love for skiing...I mean an ABSOLUTE LOVE for it. Me on the other hand...I'm better suited in a cozy cabin by a nice warm fire. I wish I loved it...but honestly how can you love something you are beyond terrible at?!?!??!

 

Once again Nick has more and better pictures from our trip on his phone (I will post more at another time.) BUT here Nick is coming into our coxy chalet after walking Jonah (who absolutely LOVES the snow...he must get it from his daddy:)). The other picture is from our porch. You can see and walk to the slopes from our place. It was pretty neat!!

 

Okay, so January...the month of my daddy's birthday! Good news had arrived in place of Aunt Flo!!!

 

 

The proof was on the screen! AHHHH!!!!! Very similar to what happened last March...Aunt Flo was late. Of course I was glad, but I was not ready to see another sign that no I wasn't pregnant. So, as hard as it was I remained calm and did not get my hopes up. (Well, maybe a little). It was a Friday...I came home from work and grabbed a DG test from my stash. I decided to go into the guest bathroom to take this one...just to see if something different would happen. (I know...crazy!) Anyway...when I saw those two pink lines I promise I stopped breathing! Nick was in the hallway and I just started crying and I fell to the floor. He bent down and hugged me and said "I told you. I told you" with the sweetest little laugh. That night we bought a Clearblue test because I wanted to see it tell me "Pregnant". I had already used another one of those before and of course it read "Not Pregnant"...that is the absolute worst thing you can see on a pregnancy test...it should at least say "try again" or something a little more positive. Anyway... here is what we did to tell our family...and yes we told them immediately. We figured the more people covering this little baby and me in prayer the better!!:)

 

 

I made a pic collage and sent it to them with a picture of the pregnancy test! It was so awesome getting their phone calls and hearing their reaction! We couldn't be more excited!!!! (and of course a little nervous!)

I called the doctor's office that Monday and made an appointment immediately. The test at the doctor's office confirmed it...I was in fact pregnant! The due date they gave me was October 10, 2014. Which is my aunt Rhetta's birthday and it's also two days after my 30th birthday this year! What a wonderful birthday blessing!!!! (Not to mention the benefits of taking my mind off of turning 30. 30. 30. :))

 

Everything looked great at the first appointment! They did an early ultrasound just to make sure the baby was doing great and it was!!:):)

I made this pic collage from that appointment, too because it was Valentine's Day!!! What a special, special gift on the day of LOOOOVE!!!!!:):)

We went to the doctor the next time on March 7, 2014. Which, just so happened to be the one year anniversary of when the Lord took my daddy to Heaven. How incredible was it that God was giving us so many reasons to rejoice at a time where missing him and being sad was inevitable?!? I still wished that he was there to share in our happiness!! I know he would make the best Papa Bear in the whole world!!!
The doctor's visit went great. They did another ultrasound to check on Baby Allen. He/She was waving her arm and dancing around! Still no weight gain for me yet... 110.8 lbs. They said everything looks like it should and the heartbeat was wonderful! Ahhh...the excitement of what was ahead. (Yes, fear and doubt did try to wriggle in, but my God kept showing me that I only needed to continue trusting and praising Him!!)
This was a sweet verse that my friend, Annette sent me the morning of my appointment.... "Let us come boldly to the very throne of God and stay there to receive His mercy and find grace to help us in our times of need." Hebrews 4:16 God kept sending me hugs and His love through His precious, precious children. :):)
Okay...so are you ready for some not so good news after this appointment???....pregnancy hit me FULL FORCE!!!! The dreaded 'morning sickness'. UGH! That should not even be allowed to be called that! NOTHING about what I had was just "in the morning". It was ALLLLL DAAAAAY!!!! Sick. Sick. Sick. HORRIBLE!!!! Saltine crackers. Ginger Ale. Dry Cheerios. Chicken Noodle Soup. That was what my diet consisted of! Then came the throwing up!! One night I was throwing up every two hours so I finally called the doctor's office (at midnight) and she called me in some medicine. Somehow, by the grace of God I made it through that night and Nick went to pick up my medicine the next morning. A few hours later finally I began to feel some relief. I got down some mashed potatoes and a coke. I thought maybe just maybe a little different food might work, too bring some relief too. Oh I still remember just laying in the bed moaning...."I think I'm dying. I feel like death." It seriously is a feeling that unless you have had it...you have NO IDEA what it feels like. And honestly I am so glad you don't know...if you don't! It is like having the flu times 100! I took the medicine three times a day and it did help I'm sure, but I definitely didn't feel 'normal'. I just remember thinking when is this going to end???? Saltine crackers were my saving grace though! AND the fact that I had a student teacher in my classroom that started in January. She was in the part of her 12 week practicum experience that she was teaching full time. I was able to sit and observe her, which definitely helped with my constant 'yucky' feeling.

The first picture is PROOF of my sickness!! WHOA! That is A MESS!!!! Some people just should not take selfies...in those conditions! The next picture I took on March 15th at 10 weeks. My uncle Frankie wanted to see if I was showing yet or not. He has always been able to predict whether or not women in our family were having a boy or a girl. Soooo...I had to send him a pic for him to make my prediction. His prediction....boy!:)

Our next appointment was April 4, 2014 at 13 weeks. Baby Allen was very active during the ultrasound! It was truly breathtaking watching him/her kick, suck its thumb, drink, and move around! WOW! What a miracle!! Only YOU could orchestrate such a being!! Thank you God for a healthy, active baby! They tested for down syndrome and according to the measurement of the neck there are no signs. The blood work will come back soon to notify us of any other possible concerns. Baby Allen had a heartbeat of 156 BPM. Nick thinks BOY for sure! I was thinking girl, but now I don't know?!?We will find out on April 26th!!

This is the invitation for our gender reveal!! I wonder what the results will be?!?!?!?:):):)

THE BIG REVEAL DAY...
Nick and I decided to go in first to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. It was so funny because the baby had its legs crossed and its hand over its (uh huh)! It took the ultrasound tech a few minutes of jiggling my belly and moving the wand around to find out....once we knew we let everyone else come in the room to see....

16 Weeks...

It's a girl!!!! Lillian Mae Allen!!!!! I was SO shocked, but I'm not sure I was as shocked as Nick was!! He definitely had boy brain and if you can't tell from the above picture...I also chose to wear a blue shirt (with a pink tank top underneath;-)) I seriously thought I was going to have a little boy though!! Just another reminder from God that this is His plan! Not ours!!:):) We went to eat Mexican after the gender reveal. It was a fun time of rejoicing with family and friends at our good news!!

Haley is having a girl, too!! She is due at the end of September!!

Tobias (Nick's grandpa), David (Nick's dad), Nick, Larry (Nick's grandpa), and Marty (Nick's stepdad)

My mom, me, Cheryl (Nick's mom), Joy (Nick's stepmom)

Aunt Debu, Me, Nick, Aunt Jan, and my sister, Kimberly

My grandparents, Bob and Peggy with Nick and I

Our friends...Daniel and Erica (She is pregnant, too and is due in October!) and Emily and Tyler

My mom and my sister with us

The Allen's...Emily, Jacob (Nick's brother), Nanny Bob (Nick's grandma), Joy, Me, Nick, David, Kelly (sister-in-law), and Josh (Nick's brother)

A few more in this one...:) Tobias and Laine (Nick's grandparents)

Marty, Kayleigh (Nick's sister), Me, Nick, Cheryl, Kim (Nick's aunt), Madison (Nick's sister), and Larry

A sweet gift my teacher neighbor at school gave me when I came to school after finding out we were having a girl!!:):) Love, love, love!!

 

19 Weeks...

Finally a baby bump picture!! I bought the chalkboard and mom painted it...and finally 3 weeks later I had a picture taken. :) The board says that I love salad with ranch dressing!! CAN NOT get enough of that right now! I am having some yucky heartburn though no matter what I eat. So, TUMS have been my friend lately. I weigh 119 lbs when I went to the doctor on May 19th. this picture was taken after one of mom and I's evening walks...so please excuse the messy hair. ;-)

20 Weeks...

Alright now she looks much better than me so let's allow her to steal the spotlight!!:):) Our 20 week appointment was at Maternal Fetal Medicine to have the anatomy ultrasound done on May 22, 2014. Her heartbeat was 155 BPM and she weighs 12 ounces. The ultrasound showed that everything is growing and forming the way it should!! Feeling so blessed!!!!:):)

21 Weeks...

This was taken on June 1, 2014 after a pool day with my sister. :) Love my tankini!! Haha!! The board just shows numbers from my 20 week visit... I am up to 122 lbs., loving snacking on some Hershey's with almonds candy bars, and love feeling her little flutters!!!!:):)

Comparison of two weeks apart... I can see a little change...can you?!?:)

Happy Father's Day to my daddy in Heaven!!

Lake weekend...Happy Father's Day to this hunk of a man! (June 15, 2014...23 Weeks!!)

Summer Fun with Mom!! 25 Weeks!!:):)

 

This little update at 25 Weeks says...When I went to the doctor we got to hear her heartbeat and it was 154 BPM. I love...feeling her move around, getting the nursery ready, reading to her, talking to her, and letting her listen to music. My weight is up to 125 lbs and I love salads, fruit, and chocolate. :)